Getting up > Giving Up

Written by Courtney Henry

Can we talk about something that's been on my mind lately?

I've been having so many conversations with incredible women who are just...exhausted. Bone-deep tired. They're living on edge – constantly stressed, burned out, and running on empty. Always worried about not being "enough." Always afraid of being "found out" or losing standing with their clients or boss.

And when we talk about solutions? The response is often the same: "I've already tried that."

Now, if you only knew how many times I've said those exact words myself: "I've already tried that"...

I spent the last 15 years (yes, really!) on this endless quest for peace, happiness, and that magical feeling of "having it all together." I invested thousands in books, programs, coaches, therapy, retreats – each time convinced THIS would be the answer.

You probably know how this story goes…

I'd start strong, determined to "create boundaries" and "put my oxygen mask on first." And, yet, the minute I felt even an ounce of resistance (regardless of whether it was real or imagined) – poof! I’d retreat right back to my people-pleasing, overworking ways.

It feels like an endless tug of war, doesn't it?

::Pull towards change:: You stop checking email after hours, say no to impossible deadlines, reclaim your weekends. Woohoo! 🎉

::Pull toward old habits:: When you don’t see results right away, you fall back into your old ways – "If I just work faster, harder, longer, smarter, maybe it will all be over sooner." 🏃🏿‍♀️

And this cycle continues:

::burnout, small recovery, burnout, small recovery::

…Until you're tempted to just give up trying. Because you've "already tried everything."

But here's the plot twist I wish I'd known sooner: those "failed" attempts weren't failures at all. They were working. Every. Single. One.

Think about it – each boundary set (even temporarily), each "no" (even when followed by a "yes"), each moment of choosing yourself – was actually creating tiny cracks in that rigid shell of "how things should be done."

Those cracks? They were showing me glimpses of my true self. Each piece that fell away gave me more room to breathe. To be me – not the version trying to please everyone else, but the actual me.

It's like I'd been wearing this heavy suit of armor. Sure, it felt safe, but it was weighing me down. Each "failed" attempt was actually succeeding at removing another piece of that armor. Slowly but surely, I was learning to trust my own skin – my own instincts, my own ways of doing things.

If you're caught in this tug of war, hear me:

That voice pulling you toward change? Listen to it. Keep trying. Those "failed" attempts are you fighting to break free.

And just like I did, you can trust that voice, trust those instincts, trust yourself.

Here are 3 powerful steps I've learned that will help you keep chipping away at that armor:

 1. The power is in the pause ✋

The truth? Our bodies are literally addicted to stress. It’s why we keep ourselves chronically busy. And, it’s why pausing feels so uncomfortable (believe me, I get it). But here's what I've learned: The most significant shifts happen when we create space to go inward. When you create space to notice what your body and your mind are trying to tell you - and you start to actually listen to them (instead of push past them). That pause - to check in, reacquaint yourself with YOU - that is where your power is.

Ready to get back up? Ideas for where to start:

• Morning Mindset: Before checking your phone, take 3 deep breaths and set one intention for the day
• FAB during transition times: Pick an action - like sitting down to your computer or before jumping on a Zoom call - and FAB each time to you do it. Feel your feet on the ground, your ass in the chair, and your breath going in and out.
• Meeting Buffer: Block 5 minutes before and/or after meetings for a quick check-in with yourself - this is especially helpful if you’re trying to break patterns of overcommitting, overdelivering, and overworking (learned from personal experience 😉)

 Choose just ONE of these. That's it. Start small, but (re)start somewhere.

2. External support is helpful - but, you still need to do the inside work 🧘‍♀️

It often takes someone else’s words, perspective, or beliefs for you to have an ‘a-ha’ moment. But, in order to make that ‘a-ha’ moment actionable, you need to be willing to do the work. So, all those external resources – the books, podcasts, instagram pages, coaches, programs – still require you to pause and internalize them. To sit with what you’re feeling, determine if this advice applies to you, and if so how. 

Make it stick:

Yes, seek out inspiration. But, don’t confuse inspiration with action. Take what works for you, leave what doesn’t, and then go back to #1 - the pause - to actually integrate it.

Because, remember: Nothing changes if nothing changes. Which leads me to my next point…

3. You have more control than you think 🙌

If you’re like me, one of my most common responses along this journey - second to “I already tried that” - was “That’s not possible.” It’s not possible to find time to pause. It’s not possible to raise my rates. It’s not possible to say no. But, it actually is. You just need to give yourself permission to choose it for yourself.

Want more spacious days? You can have them. Yes, really. It just means that you need to make a choice and implement a change - such as:

Work Boundaries

• "My workday ends at 5pm – period"
• "I batch all client calls on Tuesdays and Thursdays"
• "I keep Mondays meeting-free for focused work"
• "Email checks happen at 10am, 2pm, and 4pm only"

Energy Management

• "I schedule my most demanding tasks before 11am when I'm sharpest"
• "I take a real lunch break away from my desk"
• "I decline last-minute requests that derail my priorities"
• "I build in buffer time between commitments"

Life & Family

• "I delegate one household task to each family member weekly"
• "I alternate weekend kid activities with my partner"
• "I block off one weekend day as a 'no plans' day"
• "I put my own healthcare appointments on auto-schedule and don’t cancel them"

Start with just one decision. Test it for two weeks. Notice what happens.

I know it can feel scary, but I also know this - the space you crave is on the other side of these choices.

And remember this:

Falling and getting back up, over and over and over, isn’t a problem. It’s the giving up that becomes a problem. Because, you're doing better than you think.

Keep going. Keep falling. Keep rising.

P.S. Want help putting this into practice? Join Courtney and Debra for our next free coaching call on March 5th where we’ll be talking about all things mindset and how to tackle your "I've already tried this" concerns head-on. We'll work through your mindset blocks, business challenges, and growth opportunities in a collaborative, nurturing environment. This is your chance to get personalized support that actually fits YOUR life and goals. RSVP now.